


The Shocking Truth Behind Ryan Bergara's Odd Dreams

by jojosiewa



Series: It's Just the Wind, Ryan! [BFU] [2]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Angel Ryan Bergara, Angel!Ryan, Angels, Demon Shane Madej, Demon!Shane, Demons, Gen, Heaven, Hell, Possession, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 07:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16718905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jojosiewa/pseuds/jojosiewa
Summary: Ever since Ryan met Shane, he's had recurring dreams of a graphic battlefield where he is not exactly himself.





	The Shocking Truth Behind Ryan Bergara's Odd Dreams

It happened the night Ryan met Shane. A vicious nightmare; war, bloodshed, death. The first time, it was vague, and Ryan forgot about it. It was just a stupid nightmare, and it was probably because he had rewatched Gladiator two nights ago and Braveheart the one before.

The next time, it was the same nightmare, but Ryan remembered the sounds of screams and swords clashing and harsh, loud thunder. He remembered people shouting to him, but he couldn't make out what they were saying.

Then came the feeling. Ryan woke up sore, with a sting in his chest, from then on every time he had the nightmare. He figured he was freaking himself out and the pain was psychosomatic.

He slowly began to find out why the pain was in his chest.

Over the course of two years, Ryan gained more and more clarity in the recurring dream. It usually happened on location or soon after being on location for Unsolved.

In the dream, he was a warrior. A general of sorts, judging by how the soldiers took his orders and covered him. But the soldiers weren't... human.

All their eyes glowed bright white, and there were large white wings sprouting from all their backs, through their armor. They were angels, and the war was against demons. The demons had black eyes and scaly wings, along with long, pointing tails and nasty sharp teeth. Those who had abandoned their weapons had fought with their deadly claws or sent their large black hounds. They bled black blood.

The spawns of hell were terrifying and it was clear that they had the upper hand. Angels were dwindling, their wounds glowing bright white instead of bleeding out.

Still, surprisingly, Ryan held fast, overcoming fear and slaying dozens of demons and hellhounds with no hesitation. Ryan only felt the true terror of the situation when he woke up, sweating, panting, and absolutely horrified.

The dream ended with a demon, with a jagged sword, piercing straight through Ryan's chest. He gagged for a moment, and then woke up. Always, every single time.

That was Ryan's bizarre recurring dream about angels and demons.

<^>

It was True Crime season, and all was well.

Ryan had a special place in his heart for True Crime, despite being the ghost boy. There was less fear, and less grimy places, and Shane wasn't nearly as irritating. The banter was softer and the boys were on the same side more often than not. It was pleasant, and Ryan really enjoyed reading about the mysteries he found.

He had a rough night, the nightmare was the worst it's been, but he was so used to it he learned to brush it off. He was at his desk, editing, running mostly on caffeine.

"Ryan."

"Yeah?" Ryan leaned back and shut his eyes. Next to him, Shane frowned.

"You're kinda overworking yourself there, I'm just saying–"

"I'm fine, I just couldn't sleep very well, I had a nightmare."

"You have a lot of nightmares, what was this one about?" Shane scoffed, and Ryan glanced at him. He'd never told Shane about the recurring angelic dreams.

"I don't remember it."

Shane backed off, going back to his work. "Tell me if you need anything."

Ryan huffed and rubbed his eyes, trying to stay awake. His eyes drooped, his vision blurred, and his head sunk into his arms, nestling on his desk.

His eyes closed, and he drifted off.

<^>

"Ryan! What now! Do we retreat?"

"We never retreat!" Ryan shouted, almost offended by his soldier's words. "We are angels, we will not lose this war! We fight!"

Ryan pointed his long, shining sword towards the onslaught of demons. His eyes were wide, and he felt fear, fear for his brothers and sisters, fear for himself, fear of death.

Demons were horrifying, with their gnashing teeth and inky, black eyes, like staring into the nothing that comes after an angel's death.

<^>

Shane placed one more item on Ryan's hunched over form, snickering.

"Shane, why are you decorating Ryan like an office supply Christmas tree?"

Shane's brown eyes glinted with carefree energy.

<^>

Ryan's sword sliced clean through another black eyed hellspawn, panting, his body shaking.

He took deep breaths and fought through the fear, and the panic.

Ryan didn't know how he got this far, he didn't know how he became a general, he didn't even know why this war was being fought.

Oh, there he went, questioning his superiors. Angels weren't supposed to have free thoughts like this, they were meant to follow orders. Angels weren't supposed to feel fear either. Why was Ryan, an angel general, trembling so goddamn much?

Black blood stained his white clothes. Another one down. Another. Why were demons so bad? Who started this war, why was it so important, when will it stop?

Another, another, another.

For a moment, surrounded by death, Ryan stopped fighting, and shut his eyes tight. Why?

"RYAN!"

The impact made him gag. The pain was unbearable. Ryan looked down at the sword stuck in his chest, the light flowing out of him. The clawed hand that held it was shaking too.

Ryan glanced up, his lips parting, and he saw the face of the black eyed wretch that did it.

The demon looked as shocked as Ryan was.

"I'm sorry," the demon mumbled, grabbing hold of Ryan's shoulder and starting to pull the blade out.

It all went black.

<^>

Ryan gasped, sitting up and staring at Shane, his eyes wide and terrified.

And glowing white.

Shane stared back, shocked, his grip tightening on his mouse.

The white faded, and Ryan noticed the array of office supplies that had rattled to the floor. He rolled his eyes. "Oh, god, Shane, what did you–"

When Ryan looked back at Shane, he was painfully aware of how much his chest was pounding. Everything in the room was frozen, suddenly, at that moment.

The demon in the dream had Shane's face.

"Shane..." Ryan mumbled, realizing that Shane looked horrified. He was looking at the mouse, which Shane was crushing in his hand, the plastic pieces popping off. Shane glanced down at it and let go.

"Shane? You okay?" Ryan nudged Shane, who jumped suddenly, blinking a few times. "Yeah, I'm okay," his voice was meek. "I'm okay."

Ryan rubbed his chest between the ribs where he vividly recalled _Shane_ stabbing him fatally with a sword. He shut his eyes, and tried to shake it off. It was just a dream. Just a dream.

<^>

He couldn't focus that day. He kept glancing at Shane, only to find him glancing back, and then looking away quickly with embarrassment. The both of them were on edge. Something was very wrong between them ever since Ryan woke up from that dream and he couldn't figure it out. He didn't get lots of work done.

When he went home, he immediately reached for his notebook, which he had filled with information he had gathered over the years with this dream. The most recent one had been different; it was less focused on the physical and more on the mental. Ryan remembered thoughts, fears, doubts.

He started writing down what he remembered.

_I was scared, and I was questioning my orders. Man, what kind of an angel was I? I seemed to be highly respected. How was dream angel Ryan different from other angels? This dream thing is WEIRD._

He rubbed his eyes and remembered Shane's odd reaction. _Shane looked shocked when I woke up. He looked scared. He crushed a mouse in his hand._

_Shane killed me in my dream._

Ryan tried not to think about it.

<^>

Nothing comes after the death of an angel.

But as Ryan lay dying on the battlefield with his crippling fear taking over, one last panic attack before death, something happened.

The birth of a child with no soul.

It was a rare occurrence, a physical vessel with no soul, only the sticky, human brain to keep it chugging on. But without a soul, a being feels nothing. Nothing positive, or negative, just nothing.

Ryan grunted; he couldn't help himself, he was the angel of mercy, forgiveness, justice, freedom. If he were to die, why not lend his soul to a poor human who needed it?

He shut his eyes and reached out to the child, a last, dying wish. _Save him. Give him my soul if I am to perish. Give it a use._

He felt himself fade, and die.

<^>

When Ryan woke up, he was crying, and he had no idea why.

It was a different dream, he actually had a different angel dream. Ryan wiped his eyes with his sleeve and he sniffled, an involuntary sob forcing its way from his throat. Why was he crying? This shit was fucking weird.

He looked at himself in the mirror, and he gasped.

His eyes were glowing white. He cried out and stumbled back, falling on his ass. He shut his eyes and coughed up another painfully passionate cry. He was terrified.

He curled up on the ground and tried to fight through it. He was starting to panic. Something was wrong with him, was he crazy? Was he being possessed? Was crying for no reason only the start of it, was he going to be compelled to hurt his friends and his family and turn into a psycho axe murderer with glowing white eyes and people would tell stories of him and wonder what happened and who he was and how he became so fucking fucked— he was spiraling. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think straight. He needed help.

"Sha-ne," he cried out. "Shane!"

"Ryan!"

In an instant Shane was there, kneeled down by him. "Ryan, what's wrong, I–"

He froze again, like last time, when he saw Ryan's eyes. "I-I–"

He shook it off. "Don't worry Ryan, you're okay. You're– dammit, you're..." he looked around, scrambling to get Ryan a blanket. "Ryan, hey buddy, you're okay."

Shane had sat through Ryan's panic attacks before, but this was something worse. Ryan wasn't human, not fully, and it was some kind of an awakening. But Shane didn't understand why he was sensing _Him._

Ryan pulled the blanket closer and leaned into Shane's embrace, still shaking and crying. Slowly, his eyes faded, and the crying abruptly halted.

The two sat there for a little while, panting, both confused on different levels.

"Shane," Ryan gulped. "How did you get here so fast?"

"I think you know the answer to that." Shane's eyes flicked black, like the dream.

Ryan didn't want to believe it. His lip quivered, and he started to tear up, but this time they were definitely, one hundred percent his tears.

"Ryan, _do not be afraid,_ remember?"

"I'm very afraid. Very, very afraid. A _demon_ is hugging me, and it just quoted a priest."

Ryan was paralyzed. He wanted so badly to run as far as he could and sort this out on his own, but Shane was controlling the room. He was something powerful, something terrifying. Ryan didn't dare move.

"What are you gonna do to me?"

"Nothing, Ryan. I want to help. Something's wrong with you, you're my best friend, I want to help."

"There aren't any good demons."

"You'd be surprised." Shane let Ryan go, and he stood up. "You want me to leave."

"Please."

"Fine. I shouldn't be around all this anyway, it'll attract unwanted attention to me. I'll go back to hell and you'll never see me again, I promise."

Ryan stood, the blanket like a cape, and watched Shane leave the room.

The believer's fingers twitched.

"You killed me in my dream. I was an angel and you were a demon and you killed me in my dream."

Shane hesitated. "You dream the truth, Bergara. But it's not you I killed. I killed the archangel Zadkiel. Goodbye."

"Then why am I dreaming through his eyes, why is he _me_? Why... was I crying his tears? You're involved in this somehow, Shane, I've been having these dreams ever since I met you. If, if you're good like you say..." Ryan cursed himself. "You gotta help me."

Shane narrowed his eyes. "Debt is a human concept."

"Help me figure this out and then I swear, you can leave. Go far from all this, protect yourself, run like a coward."

"Funny of _you_ to be calling _me a coward._ " Shane scoffed. "I can smell your fear."

"If you care about me, prove it. Prove you're good, prove you're really the Shane I know."

Shane lifted his arm and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He turned back around, his eyes returning to their calming cocoa brown.

"Tell me about your dreams."

<^>

"Okay," Shane wiped off a whiteboard Ryan had in his bedroom to help him plan out his research. "From what I read in your diary–"

"Research notebook."

"Whatever you wanna call it, you know the gist of the War." Shane drew a line down the middle of the board and drew a pentagram on one end, and a cross on the other. "There are angels and demons. They've been fighting since their creation, in the War. The war of all wars. They're made for battle, I'm made for battle, everyone is made specifically for battle at this point. There are some stragglers, angels and demons who don't fight, demons like Sallie and the Goatman, anyway. After a while of manufacturing soldiers and such, heaven and hell both dropped fear, sympathy, basically anything that would aid against more fighting."

"Why do they fight?"

"No one fucking knows, that's the thing!" Shane drew a question mark in the middle of the board. "They just do what they're told. Including," Shane drew a little stick figure on the demon side with horns and a tail. "Me."

"That's you?" Ryan snorted. Shane growled. "Quiet."

Shane drew another stick figure with a halo and wings. "Archangel Zadkiel. He was a general, he won several battles, he was a legend. He was so good at fighting he was only a white blur on the battlefield. Me? I was a nobody. He was a hero."

Shane sighed.

"You killed him," Ryan mumbled, and Shane drew a line through the stick figure angel. "Yeah. And this is what I know happened for sure." He erased both himself and Zadkiel from the board. "I booked it. I knew they'd capture me and torture me and so I ran, and I hid here, with the humans. I blended in. Up in heaven, Zadkiel's remains disappeared. Usually when angels die their dormant soul is left behind and preserved, and they have like a funeral thing. But Zadkiel just vanished."

"And then the dream I had just now said..." Ryan was slowly beginning to realize.

"You, Ryan Bergara, were born without a soul. And Zadkiel, he sacrificed the only thing he had left of himself, to make sure you had a normal life. To make sure you'd be okay."

"I have the soul of a dead angel." Ryan put his hand on his head. "Oh god."

"And part of Zadkiel's power lives inside you, now, and, it must've awoken when you met me because..."

"You were the one who killed him."

"Yeah."

The two were silent.

"I think I'm gonna throw up," Ryan groaned, and Shane sat next to him, rubbing his back. "You're okay, man, do you need anything?"

"I need you to not sit so close to me right now."

"Right," Shane scooted over, sighing. "Space, humans need space."

Ryan blinked a few times, his eyes feeling hot. They watered, and he grunted, wiping them again.

"Your eyes are glowing again," Shane murmured, and he stood. Ryan looked around. "Why–"

A cold chill rattled his body, making his fingers lose their feeling. His heart pounded in his chest, and he got a very bad feeling. "Ah, shit," he felt back onto the bed and covered his eyes. "They're burning, oh fuck."

The doorbell rang. "I'll get it," Shane walked out of the room, and the feeling within Ryan's bones pulsed harder and harder. "Shane, it hurts!"

"Hang in there!" Shane called, and he opened the door.

"Sara! ...Sara?"

Ryan's eyes snapped open.

"SHANE RUN!"

Shane stepped back. "Sara, you're–"

"Get him," Sara's eyes shone bright white, alone with the two large men behind her. One grabbed each of Shane's arms and lifted him up as he kicked. "Wait! Wait please have mercy! Ryan is so fucking scared right now, I know what you plan to do to him and please don't! Sara!"

"It's Cassiel," Sara grunted. "You are the same as I am, demon scum, you merely fabricated our relationship, right? All I was was a pawn for protection, a way to blend in."

"Sara... I never..." Shane was forced to his knees.

"You have the right to remain silent, though I don't recommend it. Where's Zadkiel?"

"Dead. Don't you remember?"

"We sensed him, we felt his power, his soul."

"You don't understand–"

"I'm going to get to the bottom of this," Sara walked around him and made her way up the stairs. "Zad? You can come out now."

Sara entered Ryan's bedroom, opening the closet and scoffing at Ryan's quivering body. "All is well now, Zadkiel, you can come home!"

Ryan shook his head, shutting his still glowing eyes.

Sara sighed. "Look what he did to you. How did you end up in this fragile state? Fine. Don't worry, a sleep spell will do. You'll forgive me when you come to your senses."

She reached her hand out, and touched Ryan's forehead. Almost immediately his eyes fluttered shut, and Sara caught him before he fell. She lifted him with ease and walked back down. Shane's eyes widened. "Sara, that's not Zadkiel you know that's Ryan, I know you know this! Listen to me, Zadkiel transferred–"

"Hush, Sha– demon, I have no need to listen to your ramblings any longer. Boys, let's get Zadkiel back to heaven." Sara narrowed her eyes at Shane, who let out a defeated sigh. He shut his eyes and braced himself.

<^>

_"Ryan... I apologize for all the pain and fear and trouble I've caused you. I wish I could–"_

<^>

When Ryan opened his eyes he was in a white room, alone. He was sitting in a desk chair and the light that flickered above was flimsy. The desk ahead of him was plain. His eyes did not burn, so he assumed they weren't glowing.

"Glad to see you're settling in, Zadkiel." A tall man appeared suddenly, and Ryan jumped to his feet. "I'm not Zadkiel!"

The man was black, with golden locks of hair tied in a high ponytail and a face so perfect that it was inhuman. "Oh Zad, you always liked to mess with us like this. Funny funny Zad. I'll leave you to your own, soon you'll save us all," he smiled a perfect smile with shining white teeth.

"I'm not–!"

And just like that the man was gone. Ryan sat back down, and glanced around the room.

"Where's Shane?"

Ryan screamed as Sara appeared, holding Shane by the upper arm. "You asked for the demon, sir?"

"Sara, you know me! I'm Ryan! Bergara! Your friend!"

"I'll give you some time to speak to him," Sara said, and she disappeared, leaving Shane shakily standing alone.

"Shane!"

"Ryan!"

Ryan stood and embraced Shane tightly.

"Okay, I'm confused," Ryan stepped back.

"They think you're Zadkiel."

"Clearly!"

"Ryan, Zadkiel was a really big deal. Having him back is a godsend, he could singlehandedly put the angels back on top. They're losing, they're desperate. They need strategic help. And if they find out you're just a human..." Shane winced.

"Bye bye Bergara."

"Oh god." Ryan froze. "But, but I can't strategize, I–"

"Zadkiel? We're about to have a meeting." The man from before appeared with Sara once again. "Cassiel, take this demon to the interrogation sector, then join us in the meeting room."

"Goddamnit," Shane sighed as Sara took hold of him and they both disappeared.

"So..." Ryan smiled awkwardly.

"Right, you're low on power. I'll escort you. Big brother Michael to the rescue." The tall man held out his arm.

Ryan nearly choked. "M-Mi–" he cleared his throat. "Michael, yes, of course." He linked his arm with Michael's– _Michael the fucking actual archangel Michael holy fucking shit—_ and there was a twist in his stomach as he suddenly found himself in a completely different place. He was dizzy, for just a moment, and he squinted to see all the angels sitting around the long table.

They all stood for him. "Welcome back Zadkiel," they spoke in unison, and it sent a chill through Ryan's entire body.

<^>

"Sara..."

"Cassiel."

"Was the whole relationship really, just so you could get close to me?"

Sara held her breath, and didn't turn to face Shane.

"Fine, we don't have to talk about that," Shane stood. "How about the fact that you know that Ryan isn't Zadkiel, and you also know what they'll do to him if they find that out. Sara, if not for me, for him. He's just a human."

Sara cursed. "Dammit–"

<^>

It felt like one of Ryan's dreams. It was terrifying how real it was, actual fucking angels in a room discussing plans on how to overpower actual fucking demons.

Shane. Ryan was in shock, and there was little room to think about fucking Shane. Shane was a demon.

He killed a famous angel.

Ryan hugged a powerful demon built for war. He knew a war machine.

A war machine that seemed devastated when his girlfriend said their relationship wasn't real.

"...kiel, Zadkiel?"

Ryan shook his head and snapped out of it. "Sorry, I..."

"So what do you think we should do?" Michael's gaze was calming despite the glowing white. He was the only thing keeping Ryan at least halfway sane at that moment; he was the only angel who spoke normally, as opposed to the regal, monotone drones of the others.

Actual fucking archangel Michael.

"I..." Ryan looked around at the anxious faces ahead of him.

"The demon says he knows things." Sara was suddenly there, Shane next to her. He waved, the angels all scowled. "About the demon armies, their weak spots."

"The demon is not to be trusted. He killed Zadkiel."

"Or so you thought," Shane scoffed, and Sara's grip on his arm tightened.

"Well," she sighed. "Zadkiel is the victim here, it only seems fair that he be the one who decides whether or not we trust this heathen."

Ryan gulped. "Yeah, yeah, let's... trust him."

"Oh merciful Zadkiel!" All angels spoke in unison again. Ryan blushed.

Michael smiled. "Good. Now, tell us everything you know, demon, and while you keep information flowing we won't hurt you. Right, Zad?"

"R-Right," Ryan nodded vigorously.

Shane sighed. "Well, it's been a while, but if I remember correctly..."

<^>

"Good god that was fucking close," Sara pinched the bridge of her nose. "Both of you are so fucking lucky."

"Sara!" Ryan gasped, and Sara put her hand over his mouth. "Quiet!"

She huffed. "I know Zadkiel is dead. Shane told me everything, the whole, soul thing."

Shane crossed his arms over his chest. "What are we gonna do?"

"I don't know, I'll think of something, for now just, try to keep this whole Zadkiel thing up. Michael seems to believe you, that's good."

"I wanna go home," Shane mumbled, and Sara's features softened.

"I do too." She reached out, and he took her hand, squeezing it.

"I fell in love. It started as a mission but I..."

"It's okay," Shane smiled at her. "I know."

Ryan grunted. "I wanna go home too y'know."

"Oh quiet you."

<^>

Time passed.

That's all Ryan could be sure of; time definitely passed.

The thing was, heaven had no sense of time. They could've been there for days, weeks, months... years?

The white was intoxicating and it was nice not needing to go to the bathroom, but at the same time Ryan knew they couldn't keep this up forever. The angels wanted to send "Zadkiel" back out to battle. They just had to wait for him to regain his power.

But of course, Ryan didn't HAVE power in the first place. There was none in there to regain.

Ryan could sense the doubt rising in the white plane, wings ruffling anxiously and glances shared.

And then there was Shane.

"Hey man." The demon sat in a chair on the other side of Ryan's desk.

"Hey," Ryan rubbed his eyes. "How much longer do we have? Does Sara have an idea yet?"

"Nothing. It's looking pretty grim, buddy," Shane sighed. "This is an impossible situation."

"Why, why why why," Ryan felt his throat close and he knew he was gonna start crying soon. "I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask for any single bit of this. Why did he have to give me his soul Shane?"

"He was a good angel, he was merciful, that's his thing," Shane stood. "He gave himself to you, without him you'd feel nothing. Ever. At all."

"But now I have to deal with his problems!" Ryan shouted, standing as well. "I didn't ask to be saved!"

"And I didn't ask to be made, Ryan, but that's what happened!"

"Fine, let's talk about you!" Ryan walked around the desk and faced Shane. "You're a fucking demon! You lied to me for years! You were my best friend and our whole friendship was based on lies! Sara may forgive easier but not me! I... I–" he covered his mouth and sobbed, with no energy to yell any longer.

"I just want to go home."

"I know." Shane held out his arms, Ryan leaned into them, and they both cried.

<^>

"He is not recovering."

"Why is he always so scared?"

"His eyes are dark."

"Sometimes it seems he favors the demon over his own."

"Angels, please," Michael spoke, and the angels stopped chattering. "I trust Zadkiel to tell us what he wants, when he wants to. He still cannot fight, maybe it is partly trauma from what occurred to him in the War. Scars of the mind are harder to heal."

"But angels don't feel traumatized. Or scared."

"We must consider the possibility that Zadkiel is... defective."

The chattering resumed, concerned and distasteful.

"Plenty of angels are defective, it doesn't make them less important!" Michael boomed. "Zadkiel was–" he caught himself. "Is a military genius. We can't denounce this fact just because he feels. He is still our savior in this war. We give him everything he needs."

Michael could feel the distrust in the room, and he prayed he did enough to put a lid on their doubts for the time being.

<^>

It didn't.

During the next war meeting, Shane took a while to think of more information to give.

"I... I... I think that's all... I remember..."

"I think that does it, I think the demon has met his end."

"Oh god–"

"No!" Ryan shouted, and he stood. Michael winced. "No..."

"Why do you care?" Angels began standing up, one by one. Ryan backed away. "Uhh..."

"I knew it was too good to be true."

"You aren't him."

"You're a liar."

"And a coward."

Dozens of white eyes burned through Ryan.

"Who are you?" All angels spoke together. Michael slowly stood. "Guys..."

"I-I'm a human. My name _is_ Ryan, like I said before."

Sara covered her eyes. "I can't watch."

Ryan was frozen, his eyes shut. He didn't know what to say. Shane held his breath.

"Zadkiel is... he is..."

And then Ryan's head snapped up, and he stood up straight, and he crossed his arms over his chest. When his eyes opened, they glowed white.

"Right here, you imbeciles!" He spoke with a growl. Michael raised his eyebrows and grinned. "There you are Zad."

Zadkiel, the angel of mercy, pinched the bridge of his nose. "I cannot believe all of you," he sighed.

Shane paled. Sara's eyes sparkled.

"Leave the boy alone, let him return to earth! Same with the demon. Cassiel, or Sara, too."

"Z-Zad–"

"You must learn to let go. Let me go," Zadkiel lowered his arms. "I am gone. The only reason I can speak right now is because of the excess power from heaven, and it will only last minutes. Shane the demon has told you all very useful information and Michael is a wonderful strategist that all of you have been overlooking for eons. How about you stop clinging to one angel who had a significant amount of luck in his time, and realize that a casualty is a casualty. You lost one general out of many."

"How are you here..." one angel mumbled, and Zadkiel nodded. "I suppose that's fair. When I was about to die..."

<^>

"You three, before you go!"

Zadkiel turned around and gasped as Michael hugged him.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too brother."

Michael pulled away. "I'm sorry to see you go so soon. But I knew Ryan couldn't keep this up forever."

"You knew?" Shane's mouth dropped open, and Michael shrugged. "Maybe I knew something wasn't quite right," he grinned, and he bowed to Zadkiel. "I wish Ryan a long life. I'll see you one day, maybe."

"Maybe, brother," Zadkiel smiled, and he linked arms with Shane and Sara. "Maybe."

They left heaven.

<^>

"I'm gonna go home," Sara kissed Shane on the cheek and smiled.

"I figured. Bye."

Sara left Ryan's house, leaving Shane and Zadkiel alone.

"So it's you. You're the demon."

"Yeah, I... I guess." Shane lowered his head in shame.

"Don't pity me, please. You were just doing your job, as I was just doing mine." Zadkiel leaned against the wall. "I forgive you."

"I can't believe you're here," Shane scoffed. Zadkiel smiled back. "What a coincidence that you meet Ryan." He looked around the house. "I quite like Ryan. You do too, you protect him. I'm only able to stay like this for a few minutes. Ryan will be in control again, and I'll go away, back to nothing, some angelic power the only sign I was ever here. I've come to terms with that."

"So you really won't be able to stay..."

"No. Do you.... feel bad about that?"

"Well... yeah. You seem ...cool."

Zadkiel looked at his feet. "...Huh... just keep Ryan safe for me." He held a hand out. Shane shook it. "Always," he grinned, pulling Zadkiel into a hug.

"You know," Zadkiel's eyes flickered. "Some people say even demons were human once."

"Really?" Shane pulled away.

"No one knows for sure. I guess that will have to remain..."

Zadkiel sniffled, and laughed. Shane put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Unsolved." He looked at Shane, and then the white flickered away.

Ryan shook his head, and touched his cheek. "He cried."

"He didn't want to go," Shane stepped back.

Ryan shakily sighed. "I feel bad for the mean things I said about him now."

"He's the angel of mercy. He'll forgive you."

Ryan nodded. "Shane... we need to talk."

"I know."

<^>

"So, you're a demon."

"And you have some angel juice in ya," Shane and Ryan clinked their glasses together. They downed their drinks quickly.

"Can you get drunk?"

"Not really," Shane smiled. "I'm a warrior, I have a strong bod."

Ryan laughed, already feeling the alcohol. "I can't believe your stupid face is a war machine."

"Well I'm a little defective. Obviously."

"True."

They both went quiet for a while.

"What now?" Shane asked, and Ryan shook his head. "I... I'm not sure."

"Zadkiel said I had angelic power..." Ryan frowned. "What does that mean?"

"We'll figure it out together, right?" Shane grinned and raised his glass.

"Yeah. We will," Ryan nodded, taking another sip. Shane sighed, and patted Ryan on the back. "You're still Ryan Bergara, okay? Angel juice or not."

"I don't think I'm ever getting over what happened, Shane. We were there for... what felt like forever," Ryan shook his head. "And now I know things about myself that... are pretty freaky."

Shane swirled his drink around and let out a mumble of agreement. "Let's quit Buzzfeed."

Ryan choked on his drink and leaned over, coughing. "What the fuck! Shane-"

"I'm fucking serious Ryan, let's like, go to some remote place and practice your newfound powers! Let's live in a cabin in the woods! Sara can visit, Helen can visit, people will visit us. We can bring our pets too, let's go off in search of some enlightenment!"

"Shane, we have a responsibility to Unsolved, to our fans," Ryan felt his heart pounding in his chest.

"You're excited, I can feel it, you want to do this, Ryan!" Shane pointed. "You have a responsibility to yourself! If you stay in LA you'll never unlock jack shit! If you eliminate distractions your powers will flare up like that," he snapped in Ryan's face, and the shorter man hit his friend's hand away. "Just a few months?" he asked, and Shane grinned. "Just a few months."

"And I'll have time to process what happened to us, and, learn more about all this shit. And talk about what you've done, as well. Because I'm still mad," Ryan nodded, and Shane shrugged. "Okay, fair. Can we do it then?"

Ryan swallowed hard. "Sorry, Buzzfeed," he said, raising his glass and drinking the last of his alcohol. "The Ghouligans will be back in a while."

"YEAH!!" Shane threw his arms up in victory, and Ryan started laughing.

"If Buzzfeed goes bankrupt without us what do we do?"

"That's a real possibility, actually-"

**Author's Note:**

> Zadkiel is my baby okay he's such a high school jock  
> if this does well who knows i might do like a sequel type thingy? ooooo!!! so uhhh if you want more content get on your knees and BEG just kidding ily :)


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